Thursday, October 17, 2013

Leroy- An Excerpt from what I hope will be my first book.

That's right. I'm going to give it a shot. I want to write a book. I started writing again last week, and I'm happier than I have been in years!  I'd like to share an excerpt from a chapter I call "Leroy, the Basset Coon Hound". Hope you enjoy! If you enjoy it, please follow it, share it, twerk tweet it, do what you will to help get it out there. Be blessed, friends!

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Leroy was never what you would call an attractive dog. You’ve heard the saying ‘never seen an ugly baby.’ I always thought that applied to puppies, too, but God broke the mold after making poor Leroy. God truly doesn’t make mistakes, but He is also a loving and compassionate God, and consequently He never made another creature that homely. Leroy was a rescue dog. He used to belong to Mr. Johnson, but everything changed with the NSPCA came to town. They wanted to shoot their new commercial in our town’s new Animal Shelter, and they decided to wander around town and get a feel for it before rolling the cameras. Now Mr. Johnson’s place was on the backside of beyond, but of course, these tree-hugging, dog-stroller-pushing fanatics were on him like stank on a fart. I don’t want to go into too much detail here. Just know that there was an incident involving Mr. Johnson, his basset hound quartet, a water hose, and a fifth of Jose Cuervo that resulted in Leroy’s immediate removal. If you want to know the rest of the story, Sunday services start at 10:30.


I’m sure you’ve seen the commercials on television begging for money for abused animals, and I genuinely feel sorry for these animals. How anyone could starve, abuse or chain up animals is beyond me. But, in this era of political correctness, I can’t help but wonder if they don’t use the donations to buy organic, gluten-free tofu chews for Sparky the one-eyed mutt, or fur-conditioning, breast-enhancing catnip for a schizophrenic, bisexual kitten named Glen/Glenda. But back to Leroy…

Leroy’s gigantic ears drew people to him instantly. Soft and floppy, they begged people to pet him.  Leroy’s smile would melt the heart of the Grinch. It advertised his pleasant disposition and loyalty like a billboard advertising *ahem* struggling young women in college on I-75 south of Perry. But Leroy, bless his heart, was as cross eyed as paranoid Siamese twins, which put some serious constraints on his hunting skills. 

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Leroy has quite the adventure, just so you know. Help spread the word, and help Leroy's story come to fruition! <3

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