A Very Pinteresting Journey: I Want To-> I Can-> I’m Trying-> Sweet Jesus, What Have I Done?

Here on semantic sister, I want to create a flow that connects my entries like a wad of Big League Chew in the dryer.  With only a few entries to date, I thought this might be difficult, but I’m no shrinky dink.  Tell me I can’t do something, and I’m on it like a young lawyer on a pharmaceutical mishap.

Let me preface this by explaining how much I love language. I love learning the origins of words, studying their differences between languages, and using them as my personal board game pieces. At our last church, our Sunday School class was the best. Nothing but love to the other classes, but Brother Greg’s class is where it’s at! One thing I love about his teaching is how he digs not only into the verses of the Bible, but digs into their translations and origins like Ross Gellar through Jurassic Park. He just has a way of lifting the words off the page and looking at what’s behind the ink. Definitely blessed to have been in his class! But back to Pinterest….

Let’s consider a few anagrams.

                “Pinterest”:  Tense Trip  (No kidding!)

                “Pinterest Success Stories”:  Cretinous Septic Stresses (Again, not a far stretch!)

                “I Can Do It”- Into Acid

                “Oh, how cute!”- Oh! Wet Ouch

                “Glue gun disaster”- Suggested Urinal

Admit it, you love Pinterest. You’ve tried the crafts, roasted the veggies, pondered the exercise, labeled the cat box, and alphabetized the M&M’s. Pinterest is the modern woman’s MacGyver handbook. (Ding, ding!)  What that sweet e-board of Martha Stewartness doesn’t show is the number of failed projects. I have had many successes with Pinterest, such as the Tangled birthday decorations for my daughter, the no-instructions-needed no sew fleece blankets (with  instructions, of course), the cute wreath made of metallic meshy ribbon stuff, and my favorites, the 5,000 uses of Sharpie pens.

But all good things must come to an end…and they end in my kitchen. The homemade breakfast pastries that turn out just like Pop-Tarts, the roasted veggie sticks that “children just love”, and how to get from clucking chicken to Coq au Vin in 12 minutes flat. First of all, I appreciate the effort that some dillusional moron brave soul put into these attempts. Second of all, my children do not love veggies. They do not like them baked or fried, they do not like them boiled, I tried. They will not eat them with pasta or cheese, “mom, stop cooking this crap please, please, please!” Third of all, I do not appreciate being lied to. Unless you have access to positive-reinforcement chickens with synchronized iPads, chicken don’t happen that fast! “C’mon, little Clarence, it’s just a sauna. If you don’t get in now, you’re going to miss your 4:30 appointment. Did I mention there’s wine involved?”

Well, it’s time to meet with my advisor to discuss my inherent reluctance to brainwashing. Oops, let me rephrase that:  “How to be a positive, nurturing role model for children from every walk of life despite showers of spitballs, threats with utensils, and 25 minions wearing Tommy Hilfiger Sassy Pants while I sport Goodwill clearance du jour.” Be blessed, my friends.